“I must be strong and carry on…”

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Coz I know
I don’t belong here in Heaven

Bhatji and I were glued to the news all night…stunned by the details of the horrendous Virginia tech shootings. Maybe because we live in VA or maybe because I know many of the local VA, MD and DC students attend Virginia tech, or maybe because it all just feels surreal. 33 people dead….but why? What kind of deranged person would just go on a shooting rampage, murdering people the way he did; just shooting away at everyone in a classroom and barricading the doors with chains so no one could escape; And what about the parents who were going about their Monday like it was another work day to find out that their 18-22 year old child has been brutally shot…whilst attending their class? 30 some funerals taking place in the next few days and all because some insane guy decided to take out his frustrations, anger and bitterness out on innocent people.
About 2 years ago on Christmas night, when I was living with my parents, our house got broken into. The scariest part was that we were all home…all including me, my sister, my parents and my grandparents. The other scary part was that my sis and I were awake when the guy decided that he was going to break in, around 2.30 am in the morning. I was on the phone, my sister was on the computer, our TV was turned on and we had our door open and I am positive the robber knew that we were awake….because there was no way he didn’t hear us! We even considered going downstairs for water, but our laziness prevented us and we decided to sleep around 3.00. A few minutes later I heard my dad scream “Someone is in the house! Someone is the house!” My dad had heard footsteps out side my room and he knew it was too late even for me and my sister to be up so he decided to check it out. He saw a guy opening the door to my bedroom and started to scream! I jolted up and my first thought was to run down after him but I wasn’t sure if he was armed, so I called 911 and waited till the cops came. We never found the guy and nothing too precious or expensive was stolen, but I was scarred. Even to this day it takes me a lot of time to fall asleep. Normal noises such as the settling of the house, pipes, heavy winds, worries me that someone is trying to get into the house. Poor Bhatji has had to deal with many a nights when I have woken him up and asked him to check to see if someone was outside or to make sure our door is locked. Mind you we live in a very, very safe apt building. But the mind plays tricks on you and that robbery has definitely affected me. If a robbery can leave me so paranoid, I can’t imagine how the students that have survived this massacre, this terrifying episode of random shootings in their classroom can go back into a classroom. There were a few students that actually watched as their classmates and teacher got shot and lived to tell the tale. I am sure that psychologically nothing about their classrooms, schools will ever feel safe again. My condolences go out to the families who have lost their children, to the students who have lost their friends, to Virginia Tech and to this nation for losing a future generation in such a gruesome way. May God rest their souls in peace.